"If Carson don't want to be here, damn him, period, point blank."
Monday, June 27, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Quote of the Day: FRIDAY DOUBLE BONUS!
"When was the last time Urlacher got off a block?"
-Dhani Jones, Cincinnati Bengals' LB
"I think [Dhani Jones and I] were drafted in the same class, and I haven't heard anything about him since then. I saw him on a TV show with a bow tie on, though. So I know him better for the way he dresses than what he does on the football field."
-Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears' LB
Oh SNAP! More twitter wars between players. I'm telling you, the longer the lockout lasts, the faster these guys are going to start turning on each other. Seriously though, Brian Urlacher is the third to last person on earth I would ever talk shit about. I mean, sure, if I wanted to have someone rip my face of, fold it up and wear it as a funny hat, I'd talk shit about Urlacher. Otherwise the only people I want to make angry less than him are the Hulk and Ray Lewis. You have to figure Ray Lewis is going to rip your dick off and club you to death with it, so that's definitely worse. Regrets, Dhani Jones. You have them.
-Dhani Jones, Cincinnati Bengals' LB
"I think [Dhani Jones and I] were drafted in the same class, and I haven't heard anything about him since then. I saw him on a TV show with a bow tie on, though. So I know him better for the way he dresses than what he does on the football field."
-Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears' LB
Oh SNAP! More twitter wars between players. I'm telling you, the longer the lockout lasts, the faster these guys are going to start turning on each other. Seriously though, Brian Urlacher is the third to last person on earth I would ever talk shit about. I mean, sure, if I wanted to have someone rip my face of, fold it up and wear it as a funny hat, I'd talk shit about Urlacher. Otherwise the only people I want to make angry less than him are the Hulk and Ray Lewis. You have to figure Ray Lewis is going to rip your dick off and club you to death with it, so that's definitely worse. Regrets, Dhani Jones. You have them.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Quote of the Day
"The agreement that we're focusing on and negotiating has got to address several issues, and those issues are complex, and it's got to be in a way fair to players and fair to clubs.''
-Roger Goodell
And what about the fans? Wasn't this supposed to be about them too? As usual, the people who generate the nine billion dollar pay day for owners and players alike are completely neglected and taken for granted. One day these assholes will wake up and remember why there is such a thing as the NFL at all. The same people who sign their paychecks away to buy game tickets and jerseys for their kids are getting shat on every day this dispute continues. Maybe think about that guy too and get this fucking thing done. You owe us way more than that, Roger; but it's a start.
-Roger Goodell
And what about the fans? Wasn't this supposed to be about them too? As usual, the people who generate the nine billion dollar pay day for owners and players alike are completely neglected and taken for granted. One day these assholes will wake up and remember why there is such a thing as the NFL at all. The same people who sign their paychecks away to buy game tickets and jerseys for their kids are getting shat on every day this dispute continues. Maybe think about that guy too and get this fucking thing done. You owe us way more than that, Roger; but it's a start.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Quote of the Day
"I talked to a player who was contemplating retirement, but the lockout has gotten his body back to where it needs to be. For us older players, it's good."
-Roy Williams, Cowboys' WR
By "I talked to another player" Roy meant, "I woke up and looked in the mirror," and by "us older players," he meant, "us players who suck." Can't blame him though. If I were going to be cut literally the second free agency opened, I wouldn't want the season to start either. Don't worry though, Roy. I'm sure Dez Bryant will gladly give you one of the million iced out necklaces he bought and then couldn't pay for. You've been stealing money from Jerry Jones for three years now just by cashing your game checks, so what's one necklace compared to that.
-Roy Williams, Cowboys' WR
By "I talked to another player" Roy meant, "I woke up and looked in the mirror," and by "us older players," he meant, "us players who suck." Can't blame him though. If I were going to be cut literally the second free agency opened, I wouldn't want the season to start either. Don't worry though, Roy. I'm sure Dez Bryant will gladly give you one of the million iced out necklaces he bought and then couldn't pay for. You've been stealing money from Jerry Jones for three years now just by cashing your game checks, so what's one necklace compared to that.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Quote of the Day
"People were trying to dictate what I should do with my life. And who I should be. 'You should be a football player.' 'I would cut off my left nut to do what you do. How dare you walk away from it?'
"I'll tell you how I dare, because I don't want to do it anymore. I don't have the passion to do it anymore. And so I walked away from it. And it rubbed people the wrong way."
-Tiki Barber
Waaah, I'm Tiki Barber and no one likes me! Waaah, I left my pregnant wife to fuck a 23 year old intern! Waaah I bashed the Giants and then they won the greatest Superbowl of all time without me! Hey, newsflash Tiki, of course no one fucking likes you. You're a scumbag who traded everything in their life for glory, then missed out on that glory on every level imaginable. Plus you were awful on television. Let's call a spade a spade here. This Tiki Barber redemption tour is about one thing and one thing only: straight cash, homie. Tiki is flat broke and no one wants to pay him to do anything except go the fuck away and leave the rest of us alone. Ipso facto, the Tiki Barber comeback tour.
You know what though, that's all OK. The only thing Tiki did wrong here was apologize. Let's go through the play by play, shall we? Tiki retired at age 31, an age when running backs typically fall off a cliff, after flat out raping and pillaging the NFL for five consecutive years. He was on top of the world, he had a post-NFL career planned out and he didn't want to risk major injury by coming back for one more year. Then he went on TV and bad mouthed the Giants and Eli Manning. Well guess what? Hindsight is 20/20, folks. If Asante Samuel remembers how to catch a football or David Tyree doesn't use his phone-a-friend direct line to god, then Tiki Barber is one hundred percent right in everything he said about that team. Finally, leaving his wife pregnant with twins wife to terrorize a 23 year old intern's vagina? Find me the man on earth that doesn't make the same choice in his shoes. "Hmm, let me think. Fat cow wife whose vagina is about to be so stretched I could walk around in there, or smoking hot 23 year old vag you couldn't swipe a credit card in? This has to be a trick question...it's too easy."
There you have it, nothing wrong with any of that. Tiki fucked up by not sticking to his guns and saying he was sorry for what he did. Nothing America hates more than a pussy who won't stand up for himself. This is the good old US of A, we don't tolerate pussies and communists, which may or may not be the same thing. Fuck yea Tiki Barber!
"I'll tell you how I dare, because I don't want to do it anymore. I don't have the passion to do it anymore. And so I walked away from it. And it rubbed people the wrong way."
-Tiki Barber
Waaah, I'm Tiki Barber and no one likes me! Waaah, I left my pregnant wife to fuck a 23 year old intern! Waaah I bashed the Giants and then they won the greatest Superbowl of all time without me! Hey, newsflash Tiki, of course no one fucking likes you. You're a scumbag who traded everything in their life for glory, then missed out on that glory on every level imaginable. Plus you were awful on television. Let's call a spade a spade here. This Tiki Barber redemption tour is about one thing and one thing only: straight cash, homie. Tiki is flat broke and no one wants to pay him to do anything except go the fuck away and leave the rest of us alone. Ipso facto, the Tiki Barber comeback tour.
You know what though, that's all OK. The only thing Tiki did wrong here was apologize. Let's go through the play by play, shall we? Tiki retired at age 31, an age when running backs typically fall off a cliff, after flat out raping and pillaging the NFL for five consecutive years. He was on top of the world, he had a post-NFL career planned out and he didn't want to risk major injury by coming back for one more year. Then he went on TV and bad mouthed the Giants and Eli Manning. Well guess what? Hindsight is 20/20, folks. If Asante Samuel remembers how to catch a football or David Tyree doesn't use his phone-a-friend direct line to god, then Tiki Barber is one hundred percent right in everything he said about that team. Finally, leaving his wife pregnant with twins wife to terrorize a 23 year old intern's vagina? Find me the man on earth that doesn't make the same choice in his shoes. "Hmm, let me think. Fat cow wife whose vagina is about to be so stretched I could walk around in there, or smoking hot 23 year old vag you couldn't swipe a credit card in? This has to be a trick question...it's too easy."
There you have it, nothing wrong with any of that. Tiki fucked up by not sticking to his guns and saying he was sorry for what he did. Nothing America hates more than a pussy who won't stand up for himself. This is the good old US of A, we don't tolerate pussies and communists, which may or may not be the same thing. Fuck yea Tiki Barber!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Quote of the Day
"What I know will happen if [gay marriage] does come forth is this will be the beginning of our country sliding toward, it is a strong word, but anarchy."
-David Tyree, Former NY Giants' WR
You tell 'em Dave! Anarchy will reign if gay marriage becomes legal. You'll have packs of roving gays ruling the streets, fucking people in the ass, throwing them in burlap sacks and marrying them against their will. Shit will be just like Dawn of the Dead, except instead of mobs of zombies trying to eat your brains, it'll be mobs of gay people trying to eat your dick. Somebody call Tank Johnson, we have to defend ourselves from the anarchy!
PS- The only explanation here is that the helmet catch actually damaged Tyree's brain, right? This easily makes the top 5 of dumbest statements in human history.
-David Tyree, Former NY Giants' WR
You tell 'em Dave! Anarchy will reign if gay marriage becomes legal. You'll have packs of roving gays ruling the streets, fucking people in the ass, throwing them in burlap sacks and marrying them against their will. Shit will be just like Dawn of the Dead, except instead of mobs of zombies trying to eat your brains, it'll be mobs of gay people trying to eat your dick. Somebody call Tank Johnson, we have to defend ourselves from the anarchy!
PS- The only explanation here is that the helmet catch actually damaged Tyree's brain, right? This easily makes the top 5 of dumbest statements in human history.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)