First and Foremost

Welcome, fellow Lunatics to the epic launch of Football Ranters.  There are a lot of questions to be answered, I know.  What is this blog?  Who are you?  Why should I read this garbage?  Why do NFL players seem to do WAY less jail time than the rest of the population when they commit a murder or rape?  All in due time, Lunatics.  All in due time. 

What is this blog?  Well the description pretty accurately states it: a lunatic's blog for lunatic fans.  If something of note happens in the world of professional football, we'll discuss it here.  If nothing of note happens, we'll make it up so we have something to talk about.  Anything and everything is fair game.  From game of the week recaps to mock drafts to cheerleader of the week, this site will have something for everyone.    

Who am I?  A 26-year old football obsessed fan.  There is no part of the game that I do not love.  Except the halftime show at the Superbowl. (Dear NFL, please stop making halftime so painful that I debate jerking off with a sandpaper condom rather than watching the show.  It was bad enough last year when you kidnapped The Who from a nursing home, beat them senseless and pushed them out of their wheelchairs and on-stage to pretend to sing, but somehow just a year later Fergie had me wishing I could jam a freshly sharpened pencil taped to a stick of dynamite into my ear.  My silent prayers to have Will.I.Am turn around and bludgeon her to death with her own microphone remained woefully unanswered for the entire half-hour show.)

And why should you read this garbage?  Because what are your other options?  Let's face facts.  If you're reading this you are clearly short on material for when you are a) stuck in a cubicle, b) taking a shit or c) both.  You've read Bill Simmons last mailbag four times already, your farmville crop is either planted or dead and you only have 4 brain cells left from trying to decipher 50 cent's twitter account.  So why not give us a shot?  And as an aside, don't act like you're too good to bring your laptop/smartphone on the can with you.  If you're reading this website, you are exactly the type of person that would do that.  Hell, I have no problem telling you that I wrote half this blog while taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

So here's to what I hope is a long ride, folks.  As long as we can all talk football and have some fun on the way, I'll say it was worth while.

Until next time, Lunatics.