“It baffles me that Ray Rice only had seven carries. This is a Pro Bowl running back we’re talking about. You’ve got to feed the horse. They fed their horse. We got to feed our horse. He’s a good guy. He wants the ball. I think we should feed him. Ray Rice is a phenomenal player. You’ve got to use your phenomenal players.”
-Terrell Suggs, Baltimore Ravens ROLB
"Feed the horse" is officially my new favorite euphemism for running the football. Better than "pound the rock". Love it. Unfortunately, he's dead wrong here. Ray Rice had eight carries, not seven. Totally changes his entire analysis and ruins his wonderful horse analogy. The difference between seven and eight carries is like the difference between "just the tip" and "whoops, forgot to pull out." So close, Terrell. So close.
Haha, just kidding -- Terrell Suggs has never been more right about anything in his entire life. How on god's green fucking earth do you only hand Ray Rice the ball eight times in a non-blow out? Who's calling the plays for the Ravens? Mr. Magoo? Oh, wait. It actually kind of is Mr. Magoo. But seriously, Joe Flacco is garbage. He can't get out of his own way to save his life, and Cam "Mr. Magoo" Cameron, a supposed offensive guru, has him throw 38 times for 3.6 yards per attempt. Meanwhile Ray Rice gets the ball eight times. Cam's title is 50% right: his play calling was offensive (see what I did there? Eh?). But frankly, I'm not sure you can hang on to the "guru" title when a brain damaged turkey being fed nothing but four loko intravenously would hand the ball to Ray Rice more than 8 times.
And no, I'm not bitter about saying the Ravens would dominate another bad team. Go fuck yourself, Mr. Magoo.
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