Saturday, February 19, 2011

Bob Sanders, We Hardly Knew Ye

No way to sugar coat it for Colts fans, Bob Sanders has been released and we witness the end of an era in Indianapolis.  Named the 2007 AP Defensive Player of the Year, Sanders was one of the best Safeties in the league.  You don't find durable game-changers like him very often.  The guy really stuck it out and played at an elite level every Sunday for Indy.  The Colts D just won't be the same without him. 

Wait, what's that?  Did you say Bob Sanders missed almost nine games per season?  OK, I admit that a porcelain crash test dummy smothered in burning gasoline and being beaten with pickaxes would have stayed on the field longer.  But surely you cannot deny his productivity when he was on the field.  Wrong, fuck you, I can.  And don't call me Shirley.  3.5 sacks and 6(!!) interceptions in seven seasons.  As a frame of reference, Troy Polamalu had 7 picks in 2010 alone. 

"Shut up Football Ranter, a down syndrome monkey slapping the keyboard with his dick would be a better blogger than you.  The guy won defensive player of the year.  You can't take that away from him."  Fair enough about the monkey, but wrong about the award, Lunatics.  Just fucking watch me.  Not only was Bob Sanders not the best defensive player in the league in 2007, he wasn't even the best Strong Safety in 2007.  In 2007, Bob Sanders had career highs in games played (15), sacks (3.5, yes that accounts for every single sack he had in his entire career), passes defensed (6) and interceptions (2).  He also registered 71 solo tackles, which was a very good number among Strong Safeties that year.  All of this is good right?  Surely this was enough to take home the hardware, no?  No, no and for the last fucking time stop calling me Shirley.  Why?  Because there was another Strong Safety, and as many as three others who arguably had better years.  Take a look for yourself if you don't believe me.  Roman Harper, SS for the Saints, beat Sanders in every single major category that year: solo tackles (75), sacks (4), passes defensed (11) and picks (3).  The award probably should have gone to Jared Allen and his 15.5 sacks for KC, or even Demarcus Ware who was an absolute terror for a good Dallas defense.  Sanders got the award instead because he had a very good year, Indy had the #1 Defense in the NFL that season (16.4pts/game) and there was no one else on the team to really credit for this success (Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis were hurt and registered only 10.5 sacks between them).

But one good year and a Superbowl win mean what?  Not a whole lot.  Rick Astley had a longer and more productive prime than Sanders did.  But like Cuba Gooding Jr., he's made a career out of one award.  Since then Sanders has given us way too much Snow Dogs and not enough Jerry Maguire (Though I always thought Jerry Maguire sucked elephant cocks.  Tom Cruise is a psychopath and Renee Zelleweger looks like someone beat up Sarah Jessica Parker...and then she gained 40lbs).  The fact is that Sanders hasn't played meaningful football in three years and the Colts win games because they have the Godfather, Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis.  So Indy fans, step back from the ledge and go back to offering your first born/the blood of your virgin daughter to Satan to keep Peyton healthy and productive.

Until next time, Lunatics.  

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