“Defensively, we stink. We can’t stop the run, we can’t stop the pass, the quarterback took a snap, he handed it to the guy, and he ran 88 yards without being touched. That’s what I saw. I don’t know why it happened, but that’s what I saw.”
-Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears Linebacker
I give Urlacher's rant a 3.5 out of 10. He completely forgot to discuss how bad they are on offense, and he didn't mention Jay Cutler being a pussy. Really, special teams is the only phase of the game in which this team excels. The Russian judge is shaking his head and holding up a 2.0. Pretty sure the French judge fell asleep with his dick in a baguette. We'll call that a 1.5. Pretty much a fair referendum on how this entire Bears season has been so far: sleep-inducing and supremely disappointing for the fans. The only positive you can really take away is that Jay Cutler hasn't succumbed to diabeetus yet. Plus Detroit is actually good now, so if mass-suicide becomes trendy in the windy city this year, don't be surprised. Just kidding, suicide isn't funny.
PS- But seriously -- consider jumping in front of a bus, Bears fans.
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