4/28/2011 EDIT: CLICK HERE FOR MOCK DRAFT CINCO, THE MOST RECENT FOOTBALL RANTER MOCK. THE MOCK BELOW IS OLD.
Welcome back, Lunatics. Below you'll find the latest version of our Football Ranters' Mock Draft.
Check out the picks after the jump.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Quote of the Day
"Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?"
-Jim Bouton, Inventor of Big League Chew
Flaws: This logic has none. Also, you know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.
-Jim Bouton, Inventor of Big League Chew
Flaws: This logic has none. Also, you know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Quote of the Day
"He needs to stop crying about blood tests and HGH...He's been on this crusade about HGH, but he needs to be on a crusade about getting these owners together and trying to work out a deal. To me, he's a joke, because every time I look, he's talking about performance enhancements instead of talking about trying to figure out a way to make sure football is played in August."
-Derrick Mason, Baltimore Ravens' Wide Receiver
Amen Derek! I don't care if the players are shooting themselves up with HGH, Steroids, Creatine or whatever the hell they have out there now. Get this deal done and make sure there's football, then worry about the fact that players are taking gamma rays to the face in secret experiments to try to become the fucking Hulk out there. Fuck yea Derek Mason! (Wait, what? Why would that be the picture that came up for "Derek Mason?" For real? Who the fuck are those kids? Are they Derek Mason's kids? Is his wife white? Is his girlfriend white? Is his other girlfriend white? Is that chick he nails sometimes when the Ravens play KC white? Someone get on this, we need answers.) EDIT: Welp, when you don't spell the player's name right, you can't be surprised when you don't get the right results. Fuck yea Derrick Mason!
-Derrick Mason, Baltimore Ravens' Wide Receiver
Amen Derek! I don't care if the players are shooting themselves up with HGH, Steroids, Creatine or whatever the hell they have out there now. Get this deal done and make sure there's football, then worry about the fact that players are taking gamma rays to the face in secret experiments to try to become the fucking Hulk out there. Fuck yea Derek Mason! (Wait, what? Why would that be the picture that came up for "Derek Mason?" For real? Who the fuck are those kids? Are they Derek Mason's kids? Is his wife white? Is his girlfriend white? Is his other girlfriend white? Is that chick he nails sometimes when the Ravens play KC white? Someone get on this, we need answers.) EDIT: Welp, when you don't spell the player's name right, you can't be surprised when you don't get the right results. Fuck yea Derrick Mason!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Quote of the Day
"Kitna is one of my favorite people to play with. Just being out there on the field with that guy just makes you play even harder. He made some things happen in limited time, so I think if he got a longer chance, he'd be able to do more. I hope there's a chance for a quarterback competition this year."
-Martellus Bennett, Cowboys' Tight End
In related news, Dallas Police instituted an investigation into Bennett's out-of-control crack usage. No physical evidence has been found yet, but Police have said the above statement alone is enough to believe Bennett is smoking enough crack to be a danger to himself and the community around him.
-Martellus Bennett, Cowboys' Tight End
In related news, Dallas Police instituted an investigation into Bennett's out-of-control crack usage. No physical evidence has been found yet, but Police have said the above statement alone is enough to believe Bennett is smoking enough crack to be a danger to himself and the community around him.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Quote of the Day
"Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck."
-Don Shula
Welp, I guess we can safely blame almost two decades of Cleveland Browns' futility on bad luck. Sorry Cleveland, it's not that your front office is incompetent, it's that God hates you. Who knew, huh? Wait, actually, I feel like everyone knew that. Nevermind, shut it down.
-Don Shula
Welp, I guess we can safely blame almost two decades of Cleveland Browns' futility on bad luck. Sorry Cleveland, it's not that your front office is incompetent, it's that God hates you. Who knew, huh? Wait, actually, I feel like everyone knew that. Nevermind, shut it down.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Quote of the Day
"I think the osmosis is if you get a concussion, that's a serious thing and you shouldn't play. Or leading with the head that you want to eliminate. We want that message to be strong."
-John Madden, on the new safety emphasis in Madden 2012
Hey John, if you want the message to be strong, maybe clean up the grammar a little bit. For the love of god, someone re-gift this man a dictionary for Christmas.
-John Madden, on the new safety emphasis in Madden 2012
Hey John, if you want the message to be strong, maybe clean up the grammar a little bit. For the love of god, someone re-gift this man a dictionary for Christmas.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Quote of the Day
"A lot of the criticism he's receiving is unfortunate and racially based, I thought we were all past this. I don't see other quarterbacks in the draft being criticized by the media or fans about their smile or called a phony. He's being held to different standards from white quarterbacks."
-Warren Moon, Hall of Fame QB and current adviser to Cam Newton
You tell 'em, Warren! It is totally racist to say that a guy who only made one read in his college offense may have trouble picking up the complexities of the NFL game. And people are only saying he may be disingenuous because he's black, not because his father charged schools a $180,000 recruiting fee to get his son to play there. You're right, all the white quarterbacks in this draft also said they wanted to be an "Entertainer" not just a football player, he's being singled out because he's black. Someone call Reverend Sharpton! Nevermind, apparently he's busy.
-Warren Moon, Hall of Fame QB and current adviser to Cam Newton
You tell 'em, Warren! It is totally racist to say that a guy who only made one read in his college offense may have trouble picking up the complexities of the NFL game. And people are only saying he may be disingenuous because he's black, not because his father charged schools a $180,000 recruiting fee to get his son to play there. You're right, all the white quarterbacks in this draft also said they wanted to be an "Entertainer" not just a football player, he's being singled out because he's black. Someone call Reverend Sharpton! Nevermind, apparently he's busy.
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